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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello.
He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he walks up to her and says, "Do you Know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party
that got me so excited I had to lay you right there on the pool table with all my buddies spraying whip cream on us?"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, actually I'm your son's math teacher."
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A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counselor.
The counselor asks them what the problem is.
The wife launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married.
She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately. The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze.
The counselor then turns to the husband and says, "Your wife is lonely.
This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing. Do you work Saturdays?"
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