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After watching sales falling off for three straight months at
Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks
for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?"
The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from,
'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our
daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars
to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you." So the next day,
the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I
have some good news and I have some bad news.
The good news is
that KFC is willing to donate $10 million to the Vatican." The
bishops rejoice at the news.
The Pope then says, "The bad news is that.... if we accept, we'll lose the Wonder
Bread account."
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A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers
a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks
the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, " he replies, "but I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front
of the store, two large rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder,
he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats of all sizes come out and follow him.
By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout.
He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a run as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots,
and abandoned cars. Rats by the hundreds are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of
the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.
No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just hundreds but thousands, so that by
the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.
Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze
rat into the San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to
the light post, he then watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the water, where they drown.
Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.
"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.
"No," says the tourist, "not the story.... "
" I was wondering if you have a bronze lawyer?"
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