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A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly
restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called later in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the day and he would have to return the next morning.
"What for?!?!?" he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and now the sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's what for!"
The Judge, noticing the man checking his wallet, said:
"You can pay at the clerk office."
The young man nodded, "I know."
" I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."
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Moses, Jesus and an elderly man are out golfing on a beautiful sunny day.
Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway
and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green.
Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Jesus just walks on
the water and chips the ball onto the green.
The older man steps up to the tee and hits the ball.
It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it
falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth. As the fish is falling back down into the water,
an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a lightning bolt appears suddenly out a cloudless sky, shoots
forth and barely misses it.
Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of
its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one.
Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don't stop fooling around, we won't bring you next time."
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